I’m hiding naked in my closet because there are mattress delivery men in my bedroom and no one thought to tell me so I was just doing my naked thing after my shower and then I was very unceremoniously shoved into my closet and I don’t know how long I have to be here I don’t have snacks or anything
update: I found a chocolate bar on my shelf but also my phone battery is at 20% I feel like bear grylls
don’t you have clothes in your closet
I Hope she gives you candy and beautiful flowers often, like it’s February 14th.
I Hope she finds herself as lucky to have you as she would to have found a 4 leaf clover on March 18th.
I Hope she jokes with you constantly, Like it’s April 1st.
I Hope she wants to spend the days in the sun all day, like she would on May 25th.
I Hope she treats you every day like it’s your birthday.
I Hope when you kiss her, you feel fireworks, like it’s July 4th.
I Hope she gives you your favorite candy, like it’s October 31st.
I Hope she reminds you how Thankful she is for you like it’s Thanksgiving.
I Hope she sends You to bed every night excited like it’s December 24th.
And I Hope she wakes you up and you’re super excited, like it’s December 25th."
i’ll be like 40 w/no kids and people will say “aw i’m so sorry for you” and i’ll be like how was the fucking wiggles reunion tour asshole i went to italy last week for fun and didn’t have to hire a sitter
This is a very sad mentality. To think oneself more important than that of progeny is the sign of a failed human life.
so the wiggles concert wasn’t as good as you thought it would be huh